New beginnings

I think I've finally clicked

态度决定人的高度

It's not about what you've been/is going through, who you think/believe you are, what your purpose in life is..

It's about your attitude.

I've been living the past seventeen years in this "feel-sorry-for-myself" "my-life-could-not-get-any-worse" downward-spiraling emoticon. It's always been: How come they got chosen and I didn't? How come I try so hard and don't get the recognition? How come they like them more? Blah blah. Well, I believe it's time I actually tried.

You never get anywhere unless you change your attitude.

A and B might've both failed something big. But A has the strength and the positivity to try harder next time, whereas B becomes consumed by self-doubt. Who would you want to be?

Looking back, I've wasted my life. I guess maybe it's because of my past, I've had good reason to be always doubting, lacking in self-confidence. But that only wins a look of sympathy from people. What I need, is a look of equality. It's time i actually tried moving on from my past. It's hard...without support, encouragement, understanding, from your own family, but I need to start taking responsibility of my own life.

When you build up strength inside yourself, that's when everything changes. Attitude begins from the heart.

That movie we watched at youth last night. Although it short, it was to the point. Beginning with a close up of an ordinary faced man, the zooming out showed he had no limbs. Only the central body and two feet. But you know what? Yes, the clip showed images of how he got through life, graduated, went to university...Yes, it showed commentaries of how he was on the brink of giving up...But trying to gain sympathy wasn't its focus. The movie showed a tiny man, standing up on a table in front of thousands of schoolkids, proving that looks don't matter. His body was distorted, but he sacrificed himself to give other encouragement. He rapped in front of them with what was left of his body - his feet. He fell down to prove a point. In life, you fall. And yes, you will fall again and again and again.. Until you feel like you just can't take it anymore. But again, you will fall.

But you know what? After every fall you can still stand up. It's hard for us 'normal' people, let alone someone with disabilities. But he stood up. With what was left of his body he stood up. He used his head, as a lever, to stand back onto his own two feet. Like this, every moment of his life bears witness to extraordinary strength of character.

If someone like him can stand again, why can't I?
In saying that, why can't everyone else?

Teenagers are so full of negativity these days.
Thinking about it, we have everything. A healthy body, family, friends, music, money... What more do we need? Why are people turning more and more emo?
What I think we are all searching for, is that meaning, the purpose, that constant support in our lives, and that's where I believe God fits in. Without him, I can state from the heart, that I would not exist right now.

Dear God, Thank you.
Maybe I haven't had the most happiest of childhoods, maybe I haven't had my equal share of belonging, maybe I've endured through more shadows that most... But God, I know that you put me through all this for a reason. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Thank you for always being with me
Thank you for giving me the chance to cherish that tiny symbol of love
Thank you for allowing me to view others not from the bird's eye, but from eye-level.

Mum has a saying on her "100 things to do" painting:

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know

And to do that, it begins from the heart.

Dear God, like what I tell other people, the sun always shines after the rain. Tomorrow is a new day, and the start, of a new beginning. Dear God, give me the courage, the strength, and most importantly, the perseverance to stand strong after a fall. To cherish each and every moment, and to think positively in all circumstances. Dear God, again, I need you to help me.

:)